Harry Doesn't Ship Padlock
by Plerfstacks
Summary: When Harry is scrolling through his Twitter feed, he realizes that Paige and Tony have been getting a lot more attention than he has. Human AU-no ships except for implied Padlock (which I'm sure you've figured out based on the title)


**Hey again!**

 **I haven't uploaded in a long time, and I don't know if I'll be doing it again any time soon (I have actually no ideas for stories), but I was looking through my old fics and I decided to try my hand at another DHMIS oneshot. Thanks to Potterphantomkitten for your super sweet review on my last oneshot-I probably wouldn't have written this if it weren't for that. I decided to make this fic as sort of a nod to the main characters in this series; I think they deserve some love.**

 **Sorry this is kind of a short story, but hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.**

 **\- Plerfstacks :)**

Harry mindlessly scrolled through his Twitter feed, skimming his friends' posts without really comprehending what they were about. He blew a strand of hair out of his face as he noticed absently that Colin had been on another Tinder date and Shrignold had linked to yet another inspirational podcast. He clicked the link and reached down to his desk in an attempt to find the bag of potato chips that had been there for the past hour, only to find that it wasn't there. Harry looked up, puzzled, before realizing abruptly that one of Manny's friends, whom he'd invited over earlier, had stolen his potato chips and was standing in the corner with them.

"Would you mind giving those back?" Harry asked tiredly, holding out a hand. The young girl shook her head and gave him a bright, somewhat-condescending smile.

"You don't wanna go and eat a snack like that," she chirped. "You'll end up with your teeth all grey."

"Look," Harry began, but the girl had already turned and run off. He sighed and turned back to his screen. Harry resumed scrolling, rolling his eyes when he came upon yet another picture of Paige with Tony—both inexplicably photogenic despite being at a public beach and covered with sand. Paige's brightly colored hair was whipping artfully around her face, and Tony was biting his lip in a way that definitely wasn't a natural facial expression. Paige had captioned it " _Day four of our trip to Florida!",_ just as she'd been doing every day since they'd left. Harry fought the urge to make a snarky comment and instead scrolled down to read what his friends had to say.

"What?" he muttered to himself, frowning disbelievingly. No one seemed to agree with him on this particular post; each and every one of the comments was dripping with awe and reverence at what a perfect couple Paige and Tony were. Shrignold, for example, had reached the character limit in his lengthy explanation as to why #padlock was #relationshipgoals. Harry sighed and continued to read the comments, feeling more and more pathetic as he read the praise being showered on "Padlock" (as they'd been dubbed by their army of fans). No one had written anything like that on any of _his_ posts.

Harry clicked Paige's profile and was immediately confronted with even more pictures of her, bikini-clad and grinning with her precious Tony. Each picture had a cheesy caption to accompany it and a mile-long list of comments—every post having more comments on it than Harry had ever received on his. In fact, the most interesting thing that had happened on _Harry's_ Twitter account was when his great-aunt had told him to "cut your disgusting long hair, boy". Harry finally managed to tear himself out of the cycle of jealousy that he'd managed to fall into in the past few minutes, and he stood up from his computer, running his hands through his "disgusting long hair". He trudged into the kitchen, where he found Manny's friend sitting up on top of the fridge.

"What's going on here?" he asked, frowning. Manny turned towards him and tearfully pointed up at his friend.

"She stole all the cookie dough," he said angrily. "She says it will make my teeth go grey."

"Look," Harry sighed. "You can't just take all our food. Can you leave?"

The girl grinned and jumped off of the fridge, tossing the tube of cookie dough back at Manny, who caught it triumphantly and waved to his friend.

"Bye," he said. "See you tomorrow at school." Once the girl had left, he turned to Harry and smiled widely.

"Why're you giving me that look?" Harry asked, squinting suspiciously at Manny.

"Can we make cookies?" Manny asked.

"Aw, Manny, I'm not sure—" Harry sighed, but he was cut off by Robin poking his head into the kitchen.

"Cookies?" he asked. "I like cookies."

Harry laughed softly and took the cookie dough from Manny.

"Fine," he said. "We'll make cookies."

Harry rolled some of the ready-made cookie dough into a ball and placed it on the tray. He turned to see what the others were doing, and wasn't surprised to see Manny shoving a fistful of raw cookie dough into his mouth.

"Manny, stop eating all the dough," Robin chided, confiscating the tube and handing it to Harry.

"But Robin," Manny whined, trying to get it back. Harry gave him back the dough, knowing full well that Manny wasn't going to make it into cookies. What he hadn't been expecting, though, was for a large hunk of the dough to hit him in the back of the head the moment he turned back to the baking tray.

"Hey!" Harry cried in alarm, whipping back around. Manny had dissolved into laughter while Robin stood to the side with a stifled smirk on his face.

"I got you," Manny giggled. Harry felt a grin spread across his face as he grabbed one of his premade cookie balls and lobbed it at Manny, who ducked just in time for it to hit Robin. Harry froze, waiting for Robin's reaction. His eyes went wide for a second before he smiled and picked the dough ball off of the floor. Robin tossed it from one hand to another for a moment before throwing it at Harry, who took his friend's approval as a cue to start a full-fledged cookie dough fight. Before he knew it, he, his friends, and the kitchen were covered head-to-toe in cookie dough. Harry wasn't entirely sure who had won, though Manny was so adorably triumphant that Harry decided to let him be the winner.

"Alright, guys," Harry said, reaching down and flicking a chocolate chip off of Robin's head. "We should clean the kitchen now."

He turned towards Manny, only to find that he had somehow found Harry's phone and was pointing it at him.

"Are you taking pictures of me?" asked Harry, frowning. Manny nodded.

"Yes," he said, grinning.

"You look good," Robin assured him, though the slight smirk on his face said otherwise.

"Oh, shut up," Harry said, smiling. He took his phone from Manny and pulled his friends close, snapping a picture of the three of them, covered in cookie dough.

"We should probably clean the kitchen now," Robin reminded them. "And I need to take a shower."

"I think all of us do," Harry admitted. "How about you two go do that while I clean the kitchen?"

"I can help," Robin insisted, but Harry shook his head.

"It's okay. Go get yourself cleaned up."

Robin nodded slowly and smiled slightly, taking Manny by the hand and leading him out of the room. Harry turned back to their destroyed kitchen, looking around at the mess he had to clean up. He washed the dough off of his hands and took his phone out of his pocket to set it on the counter, but instead he found himself turning it on and smiling down at the picture that he'd taken of the three of them. _I have the best friends ever_ , Harry thought to himself, laughing softly. _I don't need a perfect relationship or a fancy vacation like Paige and Tony._ He considered posting the picture to his Twitter page, just to see if his other friends felt the same way, but after a moment he decided not to. This felt like something he wanted to keep for himself.

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